You know . . pt 2

Righty-o. Where was I before? Oh yes. . . ignorance.

I came across this blog written by a Grenadian man.  Now under normal circumstances I would not deliberately pick a fight with another blogger, but one of his posts filled me with such rage that I am systematically, critically (and spitefully!) examining every single thing he has written and will post about it.  Thankfully for the blogosphere there was not much there to begin with.  I’ve made sure to screenshot everything there for posterity.

So which is the offending post that has me so angry? Lesbians at banks in Grenada. Yes people. In case you were not aware, Mr Vonnie James of Point Salines, St. George’s, a self-professed “freelance journalist”, wants you to know all about the conniving, wicked homo womenz that are infiltrating the very fabric of the Grenada financial sector employees’ sanctified marriages *eyeroll*.

Below is the direct quotation of the article, with spelling, grammar and syntax intact.  My immediate sarcastic responses are in the blue italics.

In Grenada and in certain circles, it is rumoured that men who wives work at the banks must be very careful of the other women there. [“men WHOSE” not “who”. I hope you readers are taking note of the need to beware of all single women who work in banks] The reason being is that most of the single women are actively trying to steal them away. [Wha’??! Actively trying??! To steal married women? The horror!] It apparent that the clear and present danger is not about other men. [“It’s” not “it”. By the way, message to bank husbands out there – men are ALWAYS clear and present danger. I know. I used to work in a bank.]

It is rumoured that the young ladies can be seen at parties rubbing on one another [Rubbing? Gasp!] and doing French kissing [doing French kissing…. lollll… hahahaaaa. How decadent] and behaving in all sought of indecent ways. [*clutches pearls* Oh no! Not at ALL like heterosexual couples who chastely hold hands. For shame!]

The rumour goes far as to say that some are behaving this way just to draw attention to themselves. [Pretty good way to draw attention I must say]

In other words they are not really ‘dykes’[DYKES?????? DYKES?? Say wha’? Talk about calling a black person a nigger a spade a spade], but just having a good time. Others seem to be bisexual and just ‘do it’ with whosoever is of age. [In which case they are already better than 70% of the men in this country who seem to prefer girls not of age] That is a real moral dilemma. [What is? Whether The Dykes are really homosexual, or bisexual, or attention-seekers, or destroyers-of-bank-marriages? For who is this a moral dilemma? Probably the men that get left behind :D]

My biggest concern in all this is the impact it will have on the social strata of our country [Which has, in no way, been impacted by anything else of social import, or concern to Vonnie, such as poverty, lack of education, disease, violence, misogyny, harassment, discrimination, human rights abuses, etc].

On one hand lesbianism empowers some women (to make them believe they are men) [WHATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! WHat!! What the f*CK did he just say????!] and on the other hard, there is a covert system of a double culture, subculture, guilt, anger, secretiveness and so on and so forth [I. have. no. words]. Children can become confuse and distorted about family as the Bible describes it. [!bhbhlbdjabVSDVSVH hishlpi jksd!!]

What if they found out that their kindergarten teacher is a Lesbian? [Er.. um… and.. what. Much better they find that out than they find our their teacher is a pedophile]

Or their aunty or their big sister or their mom? How are they supposed to react? [.. With familial love, respect and compassion? No? Wrong answer?..]

Thank God there are Christian counselors in Grenada who can deal with this issue. [*deep breath* REALLY? Christian counselors who can deal with the issue of female homosexuality. Wow. Unreal. Who knew? Those counselors is some badass mofos. When are they going to turn their powers of dealing towards those older men that prey on little pre-teen girls?] By the power of God, someone can actually repent of this habit [Jigga say wha’?]. Contrary to popular believe [belief], it is a habit [because Vonnie has firsthand knowledge, him being a reformed lesbian and all] and can be control and broken [Oh. Broken. THIS is what you mean by “dealing with” this issue. Ah. All clear now]. You tell me. [Oh I will]

__________________________

To be continued. Again . . .

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Posted in general stupidity, grenada, ranting
13 comments on “You know . . pt 2
  1. carlana says:

    So greatful for the daily dose of comic relief. Is this even for real? Can hea really be a freelance writer?!?! My goodness! I wonder for which publication? This is really funny, in a sad kind of way of course.
    It is rumoured that the young ladies can be seen at parties rubbing on one another [Rubbing? Gasp!] and doing French kissing. “Doing french kissing’….What caliber of journalist is he?? ROTFLMBO..

  2. zooms says:

    Ai Yai YAIEEE. You would think I would have spotted this having spent the best part of an hour last week in the line waiting to cash a cheque, but no, oddly enough, no signs of rubbing ha ha etc., maybe they were all tooo busy in the back office hee hee, imagine how much more interesting the wait would have been if only I had had Vonnie’s inside info at the time, let’s see who comes out of that door next……….. a little flushed perhaps…………
    Oh, but let us not forget the usual line used by all women when being hit on by such as the , no doubt, won’t take no for an answer, irresistable, Vonnie.
    Thanks for posting this Ying Yang. Should we laugh or cry?

  3. maria says:

    Sounds to me like the man got horned.

  4. maria says:

    I take particular issue with his erroneous statement regarding what the Bible says about the “family”. The illustrious Spicewriter clearly has not actually read the book he purports to hold so highly. As it says in this great article http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653

    “Let’s try for a minute to take the religious conservatives at their word and define marriage as the Bible does. Shall we look to Abraham, the great patriarch, who slept with his servant when he discovered his beloved wife Sarah was infertile? Or to Jacob, who fathered children with four different women (two sisters and their servants)? Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon and the kings of Judah and Israel—all these fathers and heroes were polygamists. The New Testament model of marriage is hardly better. Jesus himself was single and preached an indifference to earthly attachments—especially family. The apostle Paul (also single) regarded marriage as an act of last resort for those unable to contain their animal lust. “It is better to marry than to burn with passion,” says the apostle, in one of the most lukewarm endorsements of a treasured institution ever uttered.

    […]

    “Ozzie and Harriet are nowhere in the New Testament either. The biblical Jesus was—in spite of recent efforts of novelists to paint him otherwise—emphatically unmarried. He preached a radical kind of family, a caring community of believers, whose bond in God superseded all blood ties. Leave your families and follow me, Jesus says in the gospels. There will be no marriage in heaven, he says in Matthew. Jesus never mentions homosexuality, but he roundly condemns divorce (leaving a loophole in some cases for the husbands of unfaithful women).”

  5. yygda says:

    @ carlana: How sad is it that this type of “journalism” is the norm here in Grenada?

    @ zooms: Very happy to see you commenting here – welcome! I tell you I’m not sure if to laugh or cry. The article is so ridiculous that I want to laugh, but the ignorance being expressed is really, really depressing.

    @ maria: Oh yes, that Newsweek article. I haven’t read it yet but I hear it is infuriating the religious right.

  6. maria says:

    They haven’t been this mad since The Da Vinci code.

  7. abeni says:

    Never met a man who didn’t like the idea of two women making out.lol

  8. spicewriter says:

    u r fun doh!

  9. Oh throw away that Newsweek trash.
    It will never fly. Best you do whatever you want to do; but don’t insult the Bible so.
    That has been floating around for years,
    It finally got into Newsweek. Still rubbish though.

    As for the lesbians in the banks?

    Lol! (To use an internet phrase)

  10. Blue says:

    Lesbians in a bank!!! Could this be Snakes on a Plane illustrious (and ever more interesting) sequel? Someone remind me to sell this idea to the nearest porn channel

    Of course this gives the phrase going to the vault a whole new outlook.

  11. Will says:

    oh. my. freaking. god…

    my landlord just called from upstairs to ask if someone was tickling me… i have been hooting!!!

    you are officially going to bear my love child…

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About BBB
yingyangHi there! Pam Northman* (aka BlahBlohBlog) here, live and direct from Grenada. I'm a 40something, uber-liberal, working, single mother. In my time off I indulge my web, TV & pop culture addiction, revel in my attempts at nerd-girlishness and moonlight as a passionate Caribbeanista.
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